Joy – what is it?

Posted by on March 2, 2017 in Musings.

One explanation could be a feeling of pleasure or great happiness coming from the fulfilment of a desire, success or achievement, fame, name, wealth, health even…

Who could possibly obtain it, explain it, or share it with another? Can anyone live continuously in a joyful state? In this life we all experience ups and downs and we all suffer. We all know pain, hurt, despair, betrayal and fear. We know them all too well. But do any of us really know Joy?


For something to be True, it must always be so. True in the beginning, true in the middle, and true in the end. Yet we know that every moment everything changes. So Truth cannot be found in the material world as nothing stays the same, all is in constant flux, all passes.

Seeking pleasure only leads to the disappointment and disillusionment of the pain that inevitably follows. We learn that one cannot exist without the other. Such is the nature of duality. Good and bad, black and white, hot and cold, light and dark, right and wrong, joy and sorrow. All coexist, in fact they cannot exist without the other. We are jumping for joy when we get our way, the next minute drowning in despair and fuming with anger when things don’t go our way. What kind of existence is this!

duality shot

The wise taught us the path to finding real Joy and ultimate Truth. It lay not in the duality of Nature but in the recognition of the Self. The Indians call this Atman. That which is unborn, undying, untouched, unchanging. That which exists in us all. Call it whatever you want as a name will not change it.

Achieving that knowledge of the self brings ultimate Joy as then we are able to watch things rise and fall, and appreciate the ebb and flow of nature. We are detached yet aware. We see the same Self in every person no matter how different they are to ourselves. We do our work with full attention and care but without attachment to the results. We learn that attachment to desires will ultimately lead to frustration and anger – we lose self control and judgement. Our life purpose is unrealised and wasted.

The ancients taught that happiness and joy are our birthright but a correct understanding and appreciation is needed. Understanding our unique body and mind, how it works, recognising our strengths and weaknesses, keeping as stable as possible, and accepting things the way they are rather than how we might want them to be.

There is no need to seek or look for Joy – it is in fact our natural and true state and has never left us. We just have to find out why we aren’t experiencing it. For example, if we stand before a mirror that is covered in steam and cannot see our face, we take a cloth and wipe away the steam and then we can see. Our face was there all along but we just needed to remove the screen that prevented us seeing clearly.

All comes through practice, our own effort and personal experience. This is where the practices of Ayurveda and Yoga were introduced. As teachers our work is to help you understand how you are unique and what is needed to gain the stability and strength to ultimately experience limitless Joy.

Like to learn more?

  • We will offer a 2 Day Ayurvedic Lifestyle Workshop in April 2017 here in Blenheim (including your own assessment of your unique body and mind which will also reveal the root cause of any disturbances you may be experiencing)
  • Attend a Yoga class series or a Breathing Workshop to learn techniques to focus, concentrate and relax your body and mind – check our new Marlborough website
  • Visit our website, read our articles –
  • We are always happy to offer short talks about Ayurveda here at our clinic or to a group, just ask

Some quick tips to help bring more joyfulness to your life:

  • Don’t expect permanence in an impermanent world
  • Take responsibility for your Life
  • Live in the Now, the past is dead and gone and the future may never come
  • All things pass – don’t try to hold on to anything or anyone
  • Give freely and without expectation of return
  • Develop your self-awareness and understanding of your unique body and mind
  • Accept that others see the world differently, don’t blame or judge or ‘follow the crowd’
  • Remember that Joy lies within

Accepting things the way they are

Posted by on February 19, 2017 in Musings.

Are you able to accept things the way they are?

A Life with simple rules and a commonsense approach is what is needed for a reasonably trouble-free life.

Acceptance of any situation in our life, be it good or bad, right or wrong, fair or unfair, correct or incorrect, it does not matter; accept that situation which is happening at that moment in time and don’t deny or fight it. It is happening and so what is there to deny or fight! If it not supposed to happen, would it happen? No.


Accepting a situation, whatever it may be, would firstly reduce anxiety and tension. It further allows us to immediately conserve huge amounts of energy. This energy could then go to what it is meant for in the first place, to detoxify, nourish, strengthen, and stabilise our body and mind.

Acceptance is therefore the first rule we need to understand and abide by in order for a stable life.

Love in Relationship to Marriage

Posted by on November 3, 2015 in Musings.

When do we ‘fall’ in Love? 

When we meet the ‘right’ person!!!

Who is the ‘right’ person!!!

What is love?


What is Love?

What is Love?


Often times when you ask someone, “why do you love that person”? The answer comes, “because..”. There seems always some reason, purpose, agenda or whatever attached to this love. There are some qualities about the other person that one is attracted to and want to have and enjoy for a long time. From this love, a relationship is built up and thereafter leading to marriage or a partnership or whatever or nothing.

What are the qualities of character or personality that we seek in the other?

They are varied and each of us will have different ideas as to what each would consider acceptable, likable and lovable.

We could list here a number of qualities most of us would accept as acceptable:

  1. caring
  2. kind
  3. generous
  4. considerate
  5. giving
  6. nurturing
  7. responsible
  8. clean/hygienic
  9. pretty/handsome/sexy

and we can go on adding to this list..

We forget that we are constantly living in a state of flux and change. Internal and external factors are constantly causing us, to knowingly or unknowingly, change and this affects our so-called qualities of character or personalities. One moment we could be considerate and caring but due to some factors this can very quickly change to frustration and anger. Though some of these changes can be temporary but when the factors that cause the change in the first place do not shift or change, then these qualities would remain for much longer periods.


love note


Let’s presume we each seek 20 qualities in the other before we would consider that person worthy of ‘falling in love’ with. Often times it is almost impossible to find anyone with so many qualities all at one time but there are and there would surely be. At the same time we hear from friends or relatives, that they met so and so and have become mesmerized or enthralled by them. This is because they have experienced or grasped some of the qualities they consider worthy in that person immediately on the first meeting. It may just be, say five of the 20 qualities they seek in the other. But those five qualities being experienced at one time or moment makes the other spellbound and captivated. They get excited and make efforts to meet that person again and again until a relationship is developed which may end in marriage or whatever.

We need to bear in mind firstly the relationship is based on qualities that can change temporarily or for much longer periods. Secondly the relationship is based on only experiencing very few of those qualities they seek in the other, five out of 20!

What usually happens in a short while is that the few positive qualities begin to change and may take on other negative qualities. These negative and positive qualities are based on individual preferences. There will then arise frustration, tension and even anger. Those five qualities that so attracted the one in the first place are no longer there and this would lead the other to feel ‘cheated’ or ‘tricked’. Resentment and bitterness will then follow. Frequent fights arises and ‘love flies out the window’!!!!



Love Lost?


Often time the other who has supposedly changed may not even be aware of these changes. This is the very sad situation. The one that has felt cheated may begin to look out for qualities in others that the first one seemingly has lost. Some of them may not even be aware that they are looking out for others with those ‘missing qualities’. They would in time surely find someone who would display another five qualities that the first one did not possess and again the excitement and etc arises. The resentment and anger towards the first one would inadvertently lead to separation and divorce.

It would not be long before the very same experiences will start again and then another divorce and another seeking…..For how long is this going to go on??? We see marriages take place in a very grand manner and in a few months or years they no longer are married.

The fundamental reasons for this are;

1. Seeking something permanent in someone who is living in an impermanent world, who are themselves impermanent?

2. Expecting something to remain unchanged in a world that is constantly influenced by internal and external factors that causes and forces change.

How to get out of this vicious cycle of marriage and divorce and etc.?

1. Accepting the existing qualities in each of us and helping and nurturing the other to develop qualities that may not be there in that person in the first place.

2. Accepting that changes in all of us, for the better or the worse, are highly possible.

3. Accepting that we may not be able to control those internal and external factors that cause these changes.

4. Accepting what you cannot find in one may not be found in the next one either.

What is Love?

‘Love is God’ and ‘God is Love’, (anbe sivam) according to our tradition.


Love is All

Love is All



Posted by on October 14, 2015 in Musings.

These days the concept of marriage seems to have become outdated or defunct. It has come to this sorry state because the meaning of marriage has not been understood by most!

Marriage is not a certificate for free and legal sex or to beget children with legal status but a subtle connection and spiritual evolution of the feminine and masculine qualities in each of us.

What is the need for a marriage between a Female and a Male!

This is so to allow the masculine qualities to be built up and surface in the Female and to allow the feminine qualities to be built up and surface in the Male, by the two being joint together as ‘One’ in marriage. So marriage is actually a symbolic manifestation of each of us causing and helping the Male and Female to become balanced and equal in each of us.

Feminists should take note that it is not needed for them to take up the role of Males to prove they are equal but to build up the Masculine qualities in their Female bodies to achieve that equality and balance. This is clearly defined in the form of Siva, the Male principal and Sakthi, the Female principle being joint as one body, according to Hindu mythology. Or as in the ‘Yin and Yang’ of the Chinese principle of divine balance.





As marriage was progressively seen as a convenience, it lost its spiritual significance and became degraded. We see marriages or partnerships fail in after a very short while of being together. This is because that union has become an instrument of the Ego just for the purpose of fulfilling individual needs and desires, without the least concern or consideration of the need of the other and thus a totally selfish and self-centered exercise.


yin yang

Yin Yang Symbol